I met her one February morning.It was raining lightly,I stepped outside the library and stood next to her.I said Hi & she responded to it back packaged with a smile.

It was the very first time I’d hit on physically the most beautiful girl.I walked through the young drizzle with her until an apollo light lit directly on her face then I complimented her,she smiled,I sighed a sigh of hope.Damn!

We stopped somewhere for the rain below a building roof.We started having sound conversations for what you would probably call getting to know her better and we found common ground,I did not know that,with some unprepared for but a really good move hug made impact on how she probably felt about me then.

She refused timeously with her number,which really had me confused about my strength of progress.But then hey,who cares girls always play hard to get,it’s part of their game plan.I stayed away for about a week.I would meet her now & then and would just throw a Hi and expect it back,yes with a smile.

I met her again on that following saturday and eventually made things official with her.We went on and dated,did things,nice things,real mad awesome and crazy experiences.It was perfect for a short moment until my guy instinct took over,I fvcked up everything,I wasn’t appreciative of her and who she was to me.

She cried once infront of me but I didn’t feel a thing.Then I knew that I was too savage for shit.I went away from her and I was happy chilling with the guys and my studies.I can assume she was busy hurting while I was busy happy moving around with shallow brains thoughts,sies.

Now I am alone and thinking hard about her,I have grown up and lived up to my responsibilities.Now I have become self concious and I know what I want,and I realised that I love her a lot more than I have ever had,more than the first day,more than when she loved me and the way she did.I really love her.

I have decided to let go of my pride and fight for her.I am not gonna just let things fall of because of what hurtful thing she might say to me or about me or wheather she curves me or not.I realise that no one is born with the right to an opportunity but each one of us has to create their chances.This could be one chance could make me believe much more in my strength as a person or even in the result of failure,teach me a very good life lesson.I am going for it head on.

You might be reading this thinking why could a 20 year old guy be thinking about such stuff,or being this dillusional and naive.But here’s something I learned,we all feel differently about someone and different things and they make us feel vulnerable and a little less strong about ourselves,pathetic though,but we don’t want to be judged for it,ridiculous I know.I am Kaygalokaiwe,Thank you for reading this.


Knowing your talents and gifts.

I have always wondered if my strong love for music was giftsonly because it makes me lazy to do small social activities like engage in conversations,or was it somehow a sign that I was meant to have a career in music because some songs really unleash a singer in me(if you know what I mean).

Lately I have realized that loving something a lot does not necessarily mean that it could be your natural talent or gift.Sometimes you love a certain subject the most in your class,but that does not really mean it is your space or specific field of talent.I think this is mostly true because you most probably loved “History(Social Sciences)” in elementary school when you were in one grade and maybe loved “Art & Culture” in another,and most likely discovered your passion for “Business studies” when you had reached high school.

This has always been the trouble I have had throughout my entire life,I have never really knew what to study before I came to varsity,which is why I wrote this piece you are reading now,trying to discover my gift of writting.I usually wonder if the subjects I am good at are actually what I would love to have as a career,or probably just the same continuous trend I acquired from when I was young.Since varsity is more like the last step of my academic life,I feel pretty much more pressurized to choose what I will ultimately do with my life.

Coming from a relatively poor background,it is hard to have people who put support in your dreams and aspirations financially or otherwise,since our care givers cared more about our primary well being and basic needs.Sometimes you grow up with a natural tendency and there is no one to push that.You end up becoming an average mine worker or teacher because of lack of choice,when throughout your youth time you were probably known as the best soccer player,a promoter of concerts in your school or always at the top of your class in every grade.Now that you could not enrich your gift,your natural proclivity has become just a hobby or something you think about at times when you hit rock bottom.You have now given up and decided to accept the mediocre life throws at you.

Exposing yourself as an individual to many things improves your sharp-mindedness and it helps you to know exactly what you want or where you are gifted the most.As a 21st century generation ,we are trying to recover from the terror of poverty and the legacy of doing something because it is societal and politically correct.We have to fuel our talents to be able to change portions of the world depending on the specific space each one of us is good at,so that the same world is a comfortable place for our kids who will have their kids who will probably be rebellious to them and lazy because of all the wealth they grow up in.The point is you have to ensure satisfaction within yourself through right choices and exposure.

The best way to learn something is mostly by learning from others than reading about it.It is best to go as far as far as learning from yours and others’ mistakes doing anything to realize your talents and gifts and acknowledging them so that you are able to change them into dreams.Do what you want,at any stage of your life,no matter what.Do it fully even if you are the only one doing it,you could be meant to be a pioneer.

NB.I humbly apologize for any possible English errors.

See Yourself Through a Different Set of Eyes

The Daily Post

As bloggers, we’re constantly defining ourselves to our readers. Through our photos, our stories, our poetry, our recipes, or our podcasts, we tell the world who we are. Even those of us who share a great deal of our personal lives still only give snippets of ourselves. We create a public persona (even our choices of blog themes reflect the way we want to represent ourselves online). We choose what we want to share of ourselves, and our readers fill in the rest according to their own points of view. Every reader might have a slightly different idea of who you truly are.

I’ve been thinking about how this applies to my daily life. I have an unconscious habit of creating stories about people I see, but whom I only know in “snippets.” The barista at my local coffee shop, the surly bus driver who never smiles at me no…

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The Answer Is Never


Sabine Heinlein | Longreads | April 2015 | 16 minutes (3,886 words)

One time, when I was in my early twenties, I shared a hospital room with a mother of many. I had a skin infection that wouldn’t respond to oral medication, and the 50-something-year-old woman had severe, inexplicable hives. Our main topic of conversation revolved around neither of our ailments. It was about my not wanting to have children. She was insistent, which seemed ironic considering her hives flared up whenever her family visited her on Sundays. I eventually compromised with the woman. Okay, I said, I will put off my decision until I reach my thirties. “You are starry-eyed,” she huffed. “You young women want it all. But you can’t have it all!” Maybe, I thought, some of us don’t want it all.

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